If you’ve worked with me, read any of my blogs, or even just had conversations with me, you’ll know that one point I often bring up is that your child coming out as transgender or non-binary presents an opportunity to celebrate the joy of their authenticity. Maybe it takes a while to tap into those feelings, and maybe there is a lot of confusion and emotions to work through, but the reality is, a child that you love with all your heart has trusted you with one of their biggest, most consuming truths. You are an important person that they have turned to to join them in that truth. Not only that, but you get to know your child as they truly are. You get to know them in a complete, authentic way, and you don’t have to be kept at a distance as they bloom into who they know themselves to be. They don’t have to lie to you, they don’t have to pretend to be someone else around you, and they get to turn to you with hope shining bright. You have been invited to celebrate the joy of who they are as human beings! Congratulations!
We don’t hear this message very often from society these days. We hear a lot about anti-trans legislation, bullying in schools and bathrooms, and the mental health issues that trans people face because of violence and rejection. Tending to all of this is crucial, but we don’t have to let ourselves be mired down completely by societal troubles. In your house and in your family, you can create your own, happier society. You can celebrate the joy of your child being strong, true, and happy, and you can celebrate that they never have to be alone.
The book takes on the seriousness of raising a trans child, but it also dives deep into the how and why of celebrating your child. Support at home can make or break a person’s success in the world, especially if they have to go out into a world that can be dangerous and hostile. Learning how to celebrate the joy of who your child is gives your child a home base, belief in themselves, and the strength to stand tall when the world is trying to knock them down.
The good news? It doesn’t have to take a lot to signal to your child that you’re ready to celebrate with them. Ben Greene’s book talks about several small things that can make a huge difference. For example, take your child shopping so that they can discover the “look” that makes them feel confident. Take new family photos so that they’re represented accurately in them. Find positive, empowering groups, images, or social media accounts that bring in other trans folks doing cool, empowering things. There are many more options (enough to write a book about!), so you can see what you think might get the message of celebration across to your child.
Now, you might be thinking, “this is all well and good, but I don’t FEEL like celebrating! I’m freaking out!” As a coach I say, good for you for being honest with yourself! If that’s the truth of where you are, that is a very important thing to acknowledge. The next question to ask yourself is, “is freaking out where I want to stay?” If the answer is no, please don’t skip over the part where you work through your freakout. You can’t pretend your feelings and fears aren’t there (well, you can, but it doesn’t usually work out super well). Come talk to me! This is what this kind of coaching is for! I’m here to hear all about the uniqueness of your situation, the hopes you have for your child and your family, and the obstacles you see to happiness. It’s my job to help you sort it all out, clarify your hopes, and create a path forward that lets you breathe a sigh of relief as you increase your bond with your child. Book a complimentary, 20 minute consultation with me to find out what you need to know about how coaching works. You can also find me at Nurture Life Coaching, where you can read more about the other types of coaching I do.
Let’s create some change in your life so that you can really, truly, celebrate the joy!
