Ok, ok, I’m a little late for Father’s Day, but I wanted to write a bit about the amazingly cool, supportive dads there are out there. I’m talking about dads who love their kids, trans and cis alike, and are willing to step up and speak out for the rights of their kids and their families. In an age where “parent’s rights” is used in such a double-speak way, it’s pretty great to see these supportive dads put their voices and their stories front and center in defense of their kids.
This article is in the opinion section of USA Today, and is written by a dad with an adult transgender daughter. In it, my favorite quote is as follows: “I was a registered Republican for decades, and I know there is nothing conservative about interposing the state between a child and their parents and physicians who know best how to care for that child.” Talk about parent’s rights!
This video on YouTube is of a dad who, in describing himself, says “I’m a lifelong Missourian, I’m a business lawyer, I’m a Christian, I’m the son of w Methodist minister, I’m a husband, I’m the father to four kids.” He’s testifying in front of Missouri state legislatures regarding trans-student athletes, which is powerful enough, but it blows my mind how able he is to talk about how he has changed as a dad. In knowing and loving his daughter, he was able to see the truth of her well-being, and his fierce love for her was strong enough to overcome his other fears. I found this to be absolutely beautiful!
Finally, this video went viral a little bit ago, and I was happy to be able to quickly find it again (although I had to link it via yahoo news, the story is from The Advocate, and the link for the video is in the article). This supportive dad is a rabbi, also testifying before the Missouri state legislature, and my favorite quote in it is, “It’s actually surprisingly easy to be a parent to a trans kid. The hard part – I mean it – the only hard part we have experienced is you all. The only hard part of having a trans kid is this sense that my government just won’t leave us alone. That we have to come back here again and again and fight just for his basic human dignity.”
And let’s not forget the Translatable Project with Dwayne Wade and his daughter Zaya! I already wrote a whole blog about this awesome dad, so you can click on either link to check it out.
All of these supportive dads have traveled their own personal, emotional journey with their kids to rise up as allies and defenders. And how important is that word “personal”?” Extremely! These are personal journeys indeed, but because the personal is now political, these supportive dads have put themselves in the spotlight to be in allyship with their kids and families. These loving voices, from different situations, are talking about love, dignity, and basic humanity. They have all been personally touched by loving a trans child, and they have been personally touched by the pain that legal obstacles to that basic humanity brings.
As a result, all of these supportive dads have opened the doorway to being a hero to their kids. Allyship like this will see their kids through tough times, and those kids will always know that they have a safe harbor at home. This, more than any other factor, predicts the success, happiness, and survival of their trans kids.
If you need help working through your own personal journey with a non-binary or trans person in your life, let’s talk! If it doesn’t feel easy yet, let’s see what we can do to support you in your challenges. I have no doubt that the love is there, and together, we can help it shine forth in a way that’s true for you, your trans loved one, and your whole family. Celebrating love feels a whole lot better than fear and worry!
Click here for a no-cost, 20 minute consultation to see if coaching is a helpful option for you. You can also find me at Nurture Life Coaching. There is a way to work through it all and be your child’s greatest hero.
Yay for supportive dads!
