These days, I’m talking with as many parents of transgender kids as I possibly can. I don’t mean coaching sessions where we examine their challenges and goals together; I mean they have been kind enough to take time out of their day to share their stories with me and answer questions I have about their experiences as parents of trans or non-binary kids. What was hard for them? What felt easy? What do they wish they had known earlier? What made them confident or afraid? The conversations have been so lovely and thought provoking, and it’s a real honor to be allowed in on these experiences. One of my favorite takeaways from these conversations is the awareness that parents have that there is a whole lot more to their kids than “just” being transgender. They are whole people!

The way one mom put it really made me smile: “I think the fact that my son is trans is one of the least interesting things about him.”

I loved this! Clearly, being trans can be complicated, multi-layered, joyful, deep, authentic, and on and on. So, you know, pretty interesting. But being trans is only one aspect of every trans person, just like anyone’s gender is only one aspect of them. What else is true about them? Does your child love music and dancing? Are they a math whiz? Are they failing math? Are they great at rock climbing? Do they have a passion for baking? Do they tell hilarious stories and show up for their friends? Every trans/non-binary kid has a whole array of traits that make them who they are, and no two kids are alike, trans or not.

This is, of course, true for cis people as well. If being female was the only trait allowed to women (and I know our society is still working on this one) what would that look like? Stepford wives? Carol Brady? And if being male was the only trait allowed to men, would all men be action heroes? Or Ken dolls?

No human is a cardboard cutout of their gender. No non-binary child (or adult) is just a statistic. The most important part of the words “transgender person” is the word person

The Pew Research Center Center published an interesting article a couple of years ago about the experience of transgender adults in the US that touches on this topic. Everyone is multi-dimensional, as this article frames nicely, and their life experiences are vast and varied.

Who are you, beyond your gender? Who is your child? What is the fullest, most detailed way you can answer each of these questions? What a celebration of personhood those answers can be!

If you’d like to seek those answers together, or you would benefit from support and you bravely step out of your comfort zone, I am here to help! Schedule a complimentary, 20 minute consultation to see if coaching with me is what would benefit you in your endeavors. Or feel free to check me out on another website,

I hope to talk with you soon!


By Published On: April 10, 2024Categories: Gender Transition, Up-Leveling Life

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