Trans Day of Visibility

Hello dear readers, and Happy Trans Day of Visibility! Ok, fine, happy day after Trans Day of Visibility. I spent part of my day yesterday reading and gathering input from other sources that sent out messages about Trans Visibility and I’d like to share some of them with you today.

Before I do that, I’d like to share a bit about how I’m holding this important day. I do hold it as important (probably now more than ever) because visibility, in the current scenario, can literally mean the difference between life and death. Maybe you remember the slogan “Silence = Death” from the 80’s, but the sentiment here is the same: if people don’t speak out and make themselves known, it’s far easier to dismiss their humanity. And when their humanity is dismissed, it’s a direct path to a lack of civil rights, lack of ability to live with dignity, and  endangered survival.

According to Data for Progress, “voters who say they personally know a transgender person report nearly double the rate (68%) of sympathy for transgender people compared with those who do not know a transgender person (35%).” At a time when TGD (trans and gender diverse) people and their families are quite literally fighting for their right to exist, visibility takes on a critical role. To love a TGD person, to parent a TGD child, is to know and understand their complexity as humans. Once you’re beyond the TGD thing, their gender identity can fade into the background compared to other aspects of their personality. They are just people, like anyone else. For me to think that my daughter deserves less than others (or nothing at all) feels like madness to me. Why would she deserve less? She is as human as anyone else, and for others to reduce her to a political tagline is terrifying to me.

This is why Trans Day of Visibility is important.

Journalist Erin Reed put out a lovely email yesterday. In it, she says, “It wasn’t easy to be myself. From the moment I realized what I needed to do, I knew I would lose people. Family ties would fray. Friends I’d clung to would let go—or push me away entirely. Every transgender person understands this, and most have lived it in some form. That we still choose to transition should tell you everything about how deeply this truth lives in us. I remember saying once: “I would rather weather every storm in my own skin than live safely in someone else’s.”

That last line says a lot to me, and I see her truth reflected in every trans and non-binary person I know.

The GenderCool Project also had some powerful statements. In their email, they stated, “TDOV is not just about visibility itself, but about what visibility makes possible: greater understanding, stronger communities, and a world where transgender youth can thrive as their authentic selves.”

Greater understanding…stronger communities… these things are the opposite of fear, alienation, and the “othering” of the unknown. This is critical!

I was thrilled to hear about another effort put forth by The GenderCool Project. It’s called “Hear Us Out,” and they describe it best: “At a time when misinformation and harmful rhetoric are on the rise, “Hear Us Out” brings clarity and humanity to a critical conversation. With over 800 anti-trans bills introduced across 49 states, these stories replace fear with understanding—showcasing the strength and determination of the trans and nonbinary community.”

Watch these stories! Pass them on to friends! Please spread the word as far and wide as you can. The more people who know TGD people as PEOPLE, the harder it will be to categorize them as criminal, false, dishonorable, predatory, confused, perverse…you get the idea.

Every trans and non-binary person I know is a full, complex person. They have loves, fears, foibles, skills, heartaches, hopes, and challenges. And whether or not they know it, they have thousands and thousands of people out there fighting by their sides. The more people that understand the humanity of these remarkable people, the more power we have to lift the weird veil of misinformation that has blanketed our country. Spread the word and celebrate this Trans Day of Visibility today and every day!

And as always, if you find yourself struggling with how to best support your TGD loved one, I’m here to help. If you want to see if coaching could be right for you, feel free to schedule a complimentary, 20 minute consultation with me. You can also find me at Nurture Life Coaching. Let’s get to know each other and see how we can make things better for you and the TGD people you love.